Deirdre on reading, writing and living

Roger Sinnott was one of my uncles. He was my father's half brother. Roger could have stepped off the TV screen from an episode of Madmen. He was a very smart professional, a two-fisted drinker, and a sparkling wit at parties. Recently a Utica businessman told me that Roger and the Bank of Utica (where he was the president) were responsible for the support and survival of many local enterprises.

I had a passel of uncles. They are all gone now. There was Karl, my mother's brother-in-law. Karl was a big friendly guy who seemed to me to patient and supportive of my Aunt Lillian. Seeing him was a rare pleasure. Uncle Leonard was married to Lucy. He was interested in photography. I'm not really certain where Lucy fits in. I suspect she was related to my grandmother, Helene Doyle.

Uncle Bob ran a leather and luggage store in downtown Utica. He had silky white hair and always seemed happy to see us. His wife, a sister of Roger's, was a delight to be around. Uncle Bill, married to my father's sister Jane, was a mysterious man. He was rail thin, always on death's door, and had no visible means of support besides my aunt. My mother claimed that he'd had every disease in the book except leprosy. But Bill liked his wiskey and that's one of the most notable things about him. He was always a little stewed.

Now I have no Aunts or Uncles left. That layer of the family is completely gone and I feel like I've lost a huge cache of living memory. Last May it was Jane who died, this January my mother, and now Roger.

Roger lived to be 95. He had it his way for many years. He died at home, and that's the way he wanted it. Roger Sinnott, Presente!

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Current Location: NYC
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Beethoven

You know how you can leave things until the end of the summer and then have to run around like an insane person? That's been my last week.

I've been staying in the Catskill Mountains for the last few months, only occasionally dipping into New York City for work related business. On Monday, August 13th I drove into NYC and back to Sullivan County, for a total of 250 miles.

Wednesday, August 15th Charles and I drove to Provincetown, MA to hang out with my Aunt, sister, and cousins, for a total of 372 miles. Saturday, August 18th we drove back to the Catskills, add another 372.

On Sunday, August 19th we hopped back in the car to drive up to Utica, NY to attend an annual award brunch in my mother's and father's names. We spent a few hours with Mom, sister, brother, and cousins then drove back. So add on 222 miles.

My mother's 80th birthday was yesterday, August 21. You guessed it. We dragged ourselves back into the car for a trip to Utica (that's plus 111 miles). We saw Mom, brother, sister, cousin, nephew, and grand nephew.

Because it was now late Tuesday and I have a work meeting on Wednesday, last night we drove from Utica to NYC for 246 miles.

Later today we are headed back to Sullivan County, so add on another 125 miles.

The grand total is: 1,698 miles.

That's assuming we survive the final leg of the trip (I'm hoping we do).

Here is map of the journey.



We used about 46 gallons of gas (yikes!) and uncounted hours in the car. But at least I can safely say that my visits to relatives have been fulfilled.

At least until the next time.

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Current Location: NYC
Current Mood: tired

How does one disengage from a mother who was never engaged to begin with? Best selling author, Kathryn Harrison, spent her earliest years trying to make her mother love her. So once Mom's dead, what does one do then?

Harrison's extended essay on the tangled relationships between mothers and children explores the loss of intimate connections. Once she stops breast feeding her youngest, her frustration and helplessness leads inexorably to confronting old feelings about her own abandonment.

It's no coincidence that some of the greatest dramas ever written explore the intricate workings in the mother/child relationship. Harrison's contribution is worth the time.

X-posted: Blog & 50bookchallenge

Current Mood: indescribable